Are you manifesting relationship issues by preparing for the worst?

When you experience childhood trauma or have frequent experiences of being let down or disappointed by adults, unhealthy coping mechanisms can turn into you manifesting undesired outcomes.

How so?

A common coping mechanism is to emotionally prepare yourself for the worst, so if the worst happens you won’t be caught off guard. It gives you a sense of control over the situation because nothing unexpected will happen, and you have already gone through all the outcomes so your feelings will be protected.

When you are walking through all of the worst-case scenarios, you are visualizing, and practicing how you would react, how you will feel, and what you will say so you will maintain control and protect your feelings. The problem is, this worst-case scenario preparation is EXACTLY what you do when you want to manifest something you ACTUALLY want.

One of the keys to manifesting is feeling the emotions of your desired outcome and putting that energy out into the universe. And when you are going through the worst-case scenarios, all of those negative feelings are coming up.

How would this work in a real-life example?

Let’s say the guy that I have been casually seeing and I are going to have the “talk” to see where this goes. I’m not exactly sure if he feels the same way I do and if he will actually commit and want to be my boyfriend. The unknown, if he shares the same feelings, is starting to trigger insecurities, and the fear of being rejected is starting to come in the back of my mind.

No one wants to feel rejected or feel like they’re the only one with feelings. So what do I do? I start walking through the possible conversations in my head to prepare myself for my biggest fears. That way, if he doesn’t feel the same way I do, I am prepared.

I know what I am going to say, and how I will react if it doesn’t go the way I want it to. I spend all of my time preparing myself, just in the off chance he’s not feeling the same way I do.

So what’s happening on an energetic level?

All of these negative outcome preparations are being sent over energetically on a subconscious level. He may not be consciously aware of it, but he sure is feeling it subconsciously. And our subconscious influences our conscious decisions.

He’s feeling the energy of me planning out the worst-case outcome. How do you think that’s going to affect him and his own insecurities? I am using the same techniques I would use to manifest and create my own reality for something positive under the guise of protecting myself and trying to have control over the situation.

Now take this example and see where preparing for the worst has shown up in your life.

• Have you ever spent more time worrying that you won’t get the raise instead of thinking you would get it?

• What else have you emotionally prepared yourself for?

• When you are visualizing what you want, are you feeling the positive emotions as intensely are you are when you are preparing yourself emotionally for the things you don’t want?

• Where are you spending more time?

These habits we formed as children were meant to protect us. They gave us a sense of control. It made us feel safe knowing that we could handle anything that came our way. It can be a hard realization to see the energy that we are putting out isn’t the outcome we actually want.

The first step is realizing and catching yourself doing it. And trust me, it’s a journey to break this lifelong habit. But it’s doable, and so very worth it. YOU ARE WORTH IT. It can be uncomfortable breaking this habit at first, somehow the fear of the unknown seems scarier than attracting the outcome we don’t want.

The next step is to have empathy and forgiveness for yourself every time you catch yourself doing it. Going back and finding where this originated to give healing and love to that inner child is the most important step of the healing process, but it can be hard to pinpoint where that actually began.

One thing I hear over and over in my sessions is “I didn’t even realize that was something that hurt/bothered me.” The way we emotionally process and react to things when we were children is so very different from how we do as adults.

Energy healing has had such a profound effect on my life, and I would love to share that gift with you.

Get your first virtual energy healing session for $55 using code ENERGYHEALING